Monday, July 19, 2010

Invasion is Inevitable

Before Ryan moved to the other side of the planet, he got my kids a little ant farm. We had to send away for ants and I kind of forgot about the farm -- until this morning when the ants arrived in the mail. I am not afraid of ants. I don't really like having them on me, but I wasn't terribly worried. If an ant were to get out of the jar before I got it in the farm, I would just let it crawl on my finger and then put it in it's new home. Then, on the outside of the ant container I see this on the label:

WARNING: DO NOT HANDLE ANTS, THEY MAY STING.

What? Why would they send me ants that sting?!?!? Needless to say, I was a little more anxious about the transfer process. Sure enough, 3 ants escaped and I had flashes in my head of ant colonies springing up all over my house -- crawling all over my kids and stinging them in their sleep -- a huge fumigation tent over my house -- eventually burning the house down because these ants are indestructible. I put on my big girl panties and picked them up with a butter knife and got them in the ant farm. No casualties. I was pretty happy about it. Of course, the kids wanted them to start digging right away. They aren't very patient. This is what I found a few minutes later:

Tori was a little wary of the ants and I was glad. Just what I need is her getting curious, taking off the top and setting all the ants free.

Little did I know, that wasn't her plan at all. Her plan was to take off the lid, lure a few helpless (perhaps stinging) ants out of their safe, new home, and crush them! She brought me a handful of dead ants a few minutes later!!! Ugh. There was one ant alive crawling up her arm and it was freaking her out, so she squashed it and brought the death toll higher. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. At least now I know that if the ants somehow get out of the ant farm, all I need to do is send Tori after them and she'll have them taken care of in no time.

For now, the ant farm is living on top of the refrigerator where they are safe from the clutches of Tori-zilla.

Good Grief!! I was just about to publish this post when I heard Tyler yelling that an ant had escaped! I ran to him and found the ant farm in the hallway!!! Who got the ant farm down? No one's 'fessing up to the crime. Sigh. This may not last throughout the day. (I got the ant back in the ant farm safe and sound and it's back on the fridge. I threatened the kids with an hour in their room if I saw anyone going near it again.)

I feel like they are all over me!!!

5 comments:

David and Sara Lenz said...

I feel itchy all over just thinking about this--literally. I just itched my head and my face and my arm. Good luck with the ants!

Laurel said...

Yuck! You know we are not "animal people" in my family, but good ole' Scott did manage to have an ant farm at one point during our childhood. Maybe I hate them so much now because they are ALL OVER my yard. Blech. Good luck!

(I think maybe Lloyd and Harry were onto something when they tried to introduce worm farms...)

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all about the girls said...

Oh my gosh, this made me laugh!!!

Amy said...

Someday when I have kids I hope one of their uncles doesn't think an ant farm is a good idea considering their mother. At least it's not a pet snake!