What Lies Beneath

Ew. We got new carpet last week. We decided to do all the prep work ourselves to save a few $$. We moved all the furniture into the kitchen and garage, pulled out the carpet and pad, pulled up a bajillion staples, and swept all the dust and weird gross stuff that lies under your carpet. I knew our carpet was bad -- duh, that's why we wanted new carpet. But I didn't realize it was THIS bad:

SO. GROSS. Oddly enough, there was a whole lot of glitter under the carpet. Fairies? Maybe. I love our new carpet. It was worth the wait. Do I have a picture of it? Nope. Sorry. If you want to see it, come visit me.

My Near Deaf Experience

On October 1st, I went to the beach. I was so thankful for the invitation from my mom because I was going crazy at my house. I don't know what it is -- maybe the salty sea air, maybe just the lack of distractions or responsibilities -- but I always feel better at the beach. On the way there, I coughed. It wasn't a "tickle in your throat" cough or a "choking on my own spit" cough. It was like my lungs had instantly been filled with mucous and I couldn't get it out. I coughed all weekend, hoping it was some strange reaction to the ocean air or something. I got home a few days later and was coughing even worse. A week went by. Still coughing. But now my left ear is starting to hurt. No sneezing, no runny nose, no fever, no nausea or vomiting -- just a cough and a little ear pain. Finally, my ear completely fills with fluid, I can't hear anything on that side, I'm still coughing all day and night, and now I've developed hives over most of my body. I went to Urgent Care. Sure enough, I have an ear infection and a wicked case of hives, but the cough will just have to resolve itself. They gave me a prescription for an antibiotic for my ears, an adrenaline shot and prednesone to help with the hives, and some cough syrup. The adrenaline shot messed me up big time (I'll NEVER do that again), but in a few days, the hives are gone. The pain in my ear lessens, but it's still completely plugged and I can hear next to nothing on that side. The cough is exactly as bad as it was before but now my RIGHT ear starts to get plugged! I go back to the doctor, now they think I have bronchitis. The antibiotic for my ears isn't strong enough to help with my lungs, so now I have 2 antibiotics to take. The infection in my ears is gone. What? Gone? Why can't I hear anything? Because, dummy, the fluid is still in there. But don't worry, it should resolve itself within 12 weeks. That's reassuring. Now I only have to be deaf for up to 3 months before they'll do something about it. Sigh. No use arguing with them. Take some Claritin-D, Sudafed, Flonase, 2 antibiotics, Benadryl at night, and still the cough syrup. At this point, I just want to fall asleep and wake up when it's all over. This is NOT fun. Fast forward to today and I'm still the same. I've finished both rounds of antibiotics, the prednesone, and my supply of cough syrup ran out a few days ago. Both ears are still plugged. Still coughing all day and night. I must admit, the cough is getting a little more manageable, but even small things like sweeping the kitchen sends me into coughing fits that feel like my ribs are breaking. I'm sore everywhere. The worst part, by far, is the near deafness. This is the most miserable thing ever. This is worse than morning sickness, my bunion removal, the flu, and pretty much anything else I can think of -- except the hives, that was the worst thing ever. So I want to tell you how my life is different now that I am nearly deaf.

First, take one finger on each hand and plug your ears as hard as you can. That's what my hearing level is. I can still hear a little, but most things just sound muffled. Now talk. Your own voice is loud and obnoxious, right? Yeah, mine is too.
-Talking is really annoying because my voice is so loud and nasally sounding in my head.
-Teaching my class on Sunday was torturous.
-Talking on the phone is really difficult because I can't hear and, again, I hate hearing myself talk.
-I can't watch tv without close captioning.
-I can't understand 99% of the things that come out of Tori's mouth. It's sketchy even when my hearing is at it's best, but now, I am just completely lost and she is getting very frustrated with me.
-I can't hear the cars coming up behind me when I'm on a bike ride with my kids.
-I can't hear people calling to me at the grocery store trying to say hi. I promise I'm not that rude, I just can't hear you.
-I have to say "what" after almost everything people say. If I'm not looking right at you, chances are good that I have no idea what you said or if you said anything at all.
-When I take a shower, the sound of the water on my head is horribly loud. It makes me feel claustrophobic in a strange kind of way.
-I can't hear my kids when they wake up at night and need me.
-I can't listen to music because most of the lower frequency noises are just gone. It doesn't matter what it is, it doesn't sound good.
-I can't hear what my kids say to me in the car because they are behind me and my Jeep is loud anyway.
-I have to explain to everyone that I'm temporarily mostly deaf so that they will speak up, but none of them do. They just over enunciate their words so I can't read their lips either.

The bonus to this?

-When Tori throws a huge, horrible, screaming fit while I'm holding her, it's not nearly as bad as it was before.
- I don't hear Ben's alarm go off in the morning, or the shower turn on, or the sound of his belt buckle coming out of the closet, or the jangle of his keys. I just sleep until he kisses me goodbye.
-I can finally appreciate the difficulties that my little brother has faced for nearly 25 years. I'm sorry that you have to go through this, David. I truly, truly am. If I could give you one of my ears, I would because one ear is better than no ears.

 So here's the deal: if you see me in the near future, speak up, and please please please, don't give me advice on how to pop my ears. Yes, I've tried everything, the doctor says I need Sudafed and time. Don't tell me to try chewing gum, or yawning, or moving my jaw around, or plugging my nose and trying to blow air out my ears, or any of the other ways to pop your ears, I've tried it. IT'S NOT WORKING.

I've learned a lot in the last few weeks. More than anything, I have learned to appreciate my overall good health and working ears. I actually made my bed today. That means I didn't crawl back in it at all during the day. It's the first time in nearly 3 weeks that this has been the case. I have learned that there are some things worse than pregnancy. I wasn't sure anything was as bad as that. At least at the end, you get to have a baby. With this, the most I can hope for is a satisfying "pop" in my ear and the sound of fluid flowing down my Eustachian tubes.

Bursitis

Ben put his elbow on the table and noticed that it was a little tender. He looked at it and this is what he saw:

He checked the other elbow to see if they both looked more like a knee than an elbow and it looked like this:

That's what a normal elbow is supposed to look like! I was horribly grossed out by the whole thing. He went to the doctor and they said it's just bursitis. Apparently he puts too much pressure on his elbow. Since none of you actually get to sleep with him, you might not know this, but he reads before he goes to bed. Usually, he puts all his weight on one elbow while he's reading. Sometimes he falls asleep like that and will lie there for hours! No wonder it's so messed up! It's doing much better already. Thank goodness for doctors.

World Cup, here we come!

Tyler has played T-ball and baseball through the Vancouver Parks & Recreation organization for the last 2 years. He has had fun, but all that standing around is kind of boring. So, Ben had the brilliant idea to sign him up for soccer this year. OH MY GOSH. I love watching him play soccer! It's so much better than baseball! He has a huge smile on his face the whole time. I love how sweaty he is at the end of a game too. I think it's cute. :-) I got a few good action shots of his game yesterday that I had to post here. (They don't really keep score in this league, but we did and they actually won this game!! The last two games we lost, but they still had fun.)

Random side note: Tyler's team is called The Red Beagles. Why? Because their shirts are red and the coach has a little beagle puppy that she brings with her to practices and games. She is the team mascot. The puppy's name is Twilight. I know, it's hilarious. I think it's awesome.

Nicole turns 5

Nicole's birthday was last week. I can't believe she's only 5 years old. Is that weird? I feel like she acts so much older than that. Of course, I'm glad she's only 5 because the teenage years scare me to death.

Nicole wanted to have boys and girls at her birthday, so we decided to go with a gender neutral birthday theme -- crazy hats. I went to Goodwill and bought a bunch of random hats and the kids had a blast. They played with toys, played a couple of hat games, ran around screaming (and breaking things, unfortunate news for my curio), made their own crazy hats, and ate pizza and cookies. Nicole didn't want cake this year -- she wanted cookies. Not just any cookies, Daddy's chocolate chip cookies with coconut. For her, she wanted a stack of cookies with a pattern of ice cream and pink frosting in between the layers. I couldn't make this stuff up, people.

Personally, I think it looks like something from a Dr. Seuss book, but she thought it was great. Did she eat it? Nope. But that's okay, that much sugar isn't good for anyone.
Here's a few more random pictures from her party:

 Nicole's crazy hat extended to her face.

 Back row: Haley, Nicole, Conner, Megan. Front row: Carter, Kaytie, Tyler, Tori.

I love this little girl more than I can say.

I can't believe my little girl has turned from this...

to this!

She is funny, talented, smart as a whip, sweet, gorgeous, loving, a little mischievous, and as girly as they come. I love you, Colie-bear. Happy Birthday.

Happy Birthday Snuggle Buddy

*** Note to those who think that I may be playing favorites in this post, well it was Nicole's birthday, not the other two. Tyler and 'she who shall not be named' (trust me, you wouldn't like her when she's angry) will get a post in April. So go pound sand. ***

I am scared to death of girls. More specifically I am terrified of my girls. Having no sisters (unless you count Jim. Har!) growing up, I didn't realize how crazy girls can be and I also didn't realize that you can't treat them the same way as you can boys.

I guess it's no secret that I sort of like my oldest daughter. A lot. I tell people all of the time that little girl lights up my world. I can't help but smile whenever I see her. I think her sole goal is to make me (and Kristi) laugh. She is the sneakiest, cutest, funniest, brilliant (who knew?) aggravating child in the world. And I love her to death for it. She lies to us all the time (she has been getting a lot better at telling the truth actually, so that's a bonus) and usually for no apparent reason. The problem is, she'll lie to us, or not pay attention to us, or do something else to get in trouble, and then she gives you this look, furrows her brow, says she's sorry and then starts making faces at you until you laugh. And you will laugh. There is no way around it.

She decided long ago that she and I are snuggle buddies, best friends, and that she is going to marry me when she grows up. She calls me little boy because I call her little girl. She sneaks into our bed at night just so she can snuggle up to me and sleep better. She tells me all of the time how much she loves me and how much I make her laugh, and how we'll always be best friends.

My little girl is now 5 years old. I am not sure how that happened, and I am not sure how am I am going to deal with her in 5, 10 and 15 years. Just know that she is a daddy's girl, and if you ever mess with her, well, you get to deal with me (and I am sure her grandpas and uncles would also like to step in). I haven't figured out what happens when she messes with me though.....

I guess we have come a long way from the infant child that wouldn't smile for anything, and wanted nothing to do with snuggling anyone or anything. The girl, while she is definitely playing this world according to her own rules, loves to get close to those the cares about and can be an absolute sweetheart.

Happy birthday snuggle buddy. Hey little girl, let's eat some cookie dough, snuggle on the couch tonight, and watch Wall-E so I can hear you laugh that infectious, hilarious laugh of yours. It is truly one of the greatest joys in life, seeing your kids in that moment when all is right in their world. I think it's because it makes me realize that they (along with my hot wife) are my world, even though I probably don't show them nearly enough how much they mean to me.

Enchanted Forest

I loved Enchanted Forest as a kid. It was our version of Disneyland. We had never taken our kids (Ben claims that I had never told him about Enchanted Forest -- yeah right) so we went on our way back from Wildlife Safari. It was exactly as I remembered it. Here's a few pictures from our day: