Monday, August 25, 2008
Is Breast milk REALLY Best?
I LOVE breastfeeding. I hope to nurse Tori until at least her first birthday. Just thought you should know that before reading this.
I hear that all the time. "Breast milk is best." Yeah, well, what if it makes your baby scream and cry and puke all day? Is it still best? I nursed Tori for 3 1/2 months exclusively. She fussed/cried/screamed and spit up all day every day. I tried changing my diet. No dairy. No chocolate. No caffeine. No vitamin C. No onions. No garlic. No difference. The doctor says "clearly, it's reflux. Let's medicate her." I try the horribly expensive medicine and it seems to help. Turns out, it was mostly just wishful thinking on my part. It seemed to help for a week or two, then we were back to non-stop screaming and barfing. After nearly 4 months of doing everything in my power to make my baby happy, I give up. I put her on formula. TA DA! It's like she's a brand new baby! I can put her down and let her play with toys. I can sit down while I hold her. I can have a phone conversation now that doesn't involve me putting her in her room and shutting the door so I can hear. I'm bitter. Formula is stupidly expensive and I make A TON of breast milk!! I have a minor breakdown in the pediatrician's office for her 4 month check up. She has been on formula for a whole week at this point and I am starting to like being her mother. He tells me to keep nursing. Breast milk is ALWAYS best. She's gaining weight and thriving, so I should keep nursing her. Eventually, she SHOULD stop crying. Sorry, Doc, not gonna happen. I'm going to pump to keep my milk production up and donate it to sick babies who need it. I'll give Tori formula for a month, then try nursing her again. If she starts in with the screaming and puking again, I'll pump for another month and try it again when she's 6 months old. After that, I'll probably give up. Pumping is a pain and right now I'm spending twice the amount of time because I have to pump and give bottles several times a day. I feel good about donating my milk to sick babies, so that cuts down on the "bitterness factor" a little. To put Tori to sleep tonight, I pumped myself empty and let her nurse herself to sleep. It was sad because I knew I was just a pacifier instead of the person providing the greatest nutrition she could get. This whole thing sucks. If anyone has any great advice, I could really use it because I've done everything I can think of. In the meantime, thank goodness for Enfamil. It sure is making my life better these days.