Wednesday, August 25, 2010

The Curse of Curly Hair

**I want to start off by saying that I realize these pictures are VERY embarrassing but they depict my real life and I want to share them with you. Next time you want to compliment me on my hair, please remember these pictures. There's no turning back now...

I have naturally curly hair. When I tell people this, they always say, "you're so lucky! I wish I had curly hair." They have no idea. I'm about to share with you, THE CURSE OF CURLY HAIR. It's a real thing. The following self-portraits prove it.

This is a ONE WEEK HAIR EXPERIMENT. I want you all to know what my annoying hair does so you can appreciate your own locks. 

Before I get into the really bad pictures, I want to explain why I straighten my hair so often. People with straight hair don't understand that curly hair is high maintenance. With curly hair, I have to wash, dry, and style it every day. With straight hair, I can wash, dry, and straighten it once and leave it for 3 or 4 days. That really comes in handy when I have to get 3 kids ready and out the door to school every day. So, one night last week, I straightened my hair and went to bed. When I woke up, I looked like this:
 DAY 1
All I had to do was run my fingers through my hair, put on some makeup, a little jewelry, and some actual clothes and I am transformed into this:
I was ready to walk out the door in 10 minutes flat. Don't I look happy about that? I left to run some errands and realized another bonus for straight hair. You can drive down the street with the windows down and look like this:
(I promise I was very safe taking this picture) and then when you stop at a stop sign, you look like this:
If I had my hair curly and down while doing that, my hair would be a giant puff-ball and I would have to return home immediately. Instead, I can run to Target, Borders, and Fred Meyer with no problems!
On Day 2 I woke up looking exactly the same as I did on Day 1 so I spared you a picture, but I wanted to show you that straight hair does have a few drawbacks. Pig-tails. They don't work for me. Maybe it's because I have so much hair or maybe it's because it's so coarse, but they tend to stick straight out when I try it. But I'm about to workout, so I have to put it back somehow. Obviously, this isn't going to work. So I try a ponytail.
Big surprise! It sticks straight out too! Even better, I get a cool little mohawk at the base of my neck. Oh well, It's better than the pig-tails, so I do my workout and wrestle with my 2-year-old a little.
After my shower, my hair still looks the same and I am thankful because I have lots of stuff to do and not enough time to do it.
I woke up to a very grouchy toddler (not a good way to start the day) and I was running out of patience in a hurry. I went into my room to vent a little anger (pictured above) and then took a few calming breaths and disentangled my fingers from my hair.
See? All better. Well, it's been 3 days and I had a serious workout yesterday, so at the end of the day, it's time to say goodbye to my straight locks and wash my hair. I went to bed with my hair wet and this is what I woke up to:
I know, it's not pretty. Also, not a good way to start the day. But, Tyler has a baseball game in an hour, so I had better do SOMETHING with it. I washed it again (hoping for better results) and after 3 handfuls of product -- hair glue, mouse, and gel -- and 28 bobby pins, I ended up with this.
Then, I think to myself, I don't really want my hair to look like this for a little league baseball game, so I take it all out and I am left with this mess:
What am I supposed to do with this?!?!? I decide that I've wasted enough time on my hair and I just throw it into a messy ponytail that looks just plain old messy (not cute messy) and run out the door.
You all know what my hair can/does look like when I do it curly, so I won't bore you with any GOOD pictures of me. Instead, I want to show you what it looks like when I take out the 5 lbs of bobby pins and climb into bed, and then what it looks like when I crawl out of bed. (please still be my friend after you see these pictures!!)
This is the post-ponytail hair. Not cute.

A flash is brutal first thing in the morning. Plus, we don't need any more pictures of me with no makeup. The world is a better place without them.
Here's a picture of me after I take out my hair for bed. (Don't you wish you were my sweet husband who comes to bed every night and gets to laugh at the craziness that is my hair?)

I thought about tying an M&M to this beauty and see if it would motivate me to keep moving all day. Decided to shower and get rid of it ASAP instead.

I have to warn you, DAY 7 is my favorite. This was taken this morning. Even better, I actually had to answer the door like this. I swear to you, I actually answered the door looking exactly like this:

That's it. That was my ONE WEEK HAIR EXPERIMENT. People say they are cursed with straight hair, well, curly hair is a curse too. In all honesty, I'm glad I have hair to complain about. Being bald would be a serious bummer. I can't believe that I am putting these pictures on here, but people deserve to know the truth! If you have straight, lifeless hair and you wish it was curly, THINK AGAIN! Sometimes less is more.


Annie said...

Kristi! I LOVE YOU! You look beautiful no matter what your hair is doing to you! THanks to you I will forever be grateful for my stick straight hair! Although, I still stand that my straight hair is boring. You have just proved that by how crazy your curly hair can be, it certainly adds some excitement to your day!

5 Hart Family said...

LOVE THIS BLOG! Never stop writing it! P.S. I still love your hair, period. It is EXCITING hair!

mom/grandma debbi said...

ROFLOL!! You are SO funny. I'm thinking you should become a writer!! Your creativity doesn't stop with your home decorating, scrapbooking, & jewelry making. And agreed-you are beautiful no matter what! I'm so glad you married Ben. :-) Thanks for the entertainment!

Emily said...

so so so so so funny and so true. I am in your shoes, as you know, I can completely relate. love your blog. love this post the most. and love you for putting it out there

Robin said...

I love it. I'm glad you're brave enough to show the world how ridiculous curly hair can be! Now our husbands aren't the only ones that know :)

all about the girls said...

Oh my gosh, Kristi, you seriously crack me up!!! You are gorgeous even with messy hair and no makeup!! Love this post!!!

Larissa said...

Pretty sure you just made my day!!!

I love it. Your faces are hilarious.

I am pretty sure no matter what kind of hair we have, it will always be a curse, right???

tara said...

awesome dude...although i really do still wish i had curly hair. i would be picky though which i know really isn't possible. i would want it to look just like the chick's from sugarland. that kinda loose, i'm from california and i rolled out of bed like this hair. i would also take her body as well. sweet, sweet fantasy.

kdwillis said...

Kristi, This blog is much better than the old one. I don't buy the hair story. Straightening that much hair is no picnic, and don't forget what humidity will do to it. You are adorable. Aunt Kathy

kdwillis said...

Kristi, This blog is much better than the old one. I don't buy the hair story. Straightening that much hair is no picnic, and don't forget what humidity will do to it. You are adorable. Aunt Kathy

Kim said...

Haha;)... I use to have curly hair but it has got straighter with every baby, maybe u should try that;) jk!! Love it!... Hope to see u again soon!!!!